What is my purpose?
Kimberly Koopman • January 6, 2020
The more I have opened up about the REAL parts of my life with people, the more I am made aware that I am not alone.
It’s also given me so much encouragement in being the real me.
It’s been a doozy in the Koopman house the last and 4th quarter of the year.
And to top it off I ended up having the doctors surgically remove the kidney stone that was lodged in my body and was deciding to never come out.
I was told that I wouldn’t be down and out for longer than a day or so and My sister heather was here visiting over the holidays.
Needless to say, I WAS down and out for much more than a day or two and was on heavy pain medicine that made me loopy and not coherent to ALL the conversations. We are a family that uses mostly natural sources of medicine when we get sick, feel flu-ish or just in general need to feel better. So to be on doses of highly effective pain medicine took me a few days to recover fully.
I can’t count how many times Heather said to me, “You’ve told me that already” or “I’ve told you that 3 times already”. All lovingly of course.
So what I’m trying to say is that that’s why you haven’t heard much from me on the blog side of things.
It was all for your own protection I wasn’t allowed to medicate and blog.
In going with the doozy of an ender to the year, since Heather left and the holidays were all celebrated, most people have gone back to work and we’ve been able to have a moment to live on the OTHER side is crazy.....
I’ve been doing some DEEP and REAL processing.
The kind that had me crying ugly tears and needing Kleenex so snot didn’t run down my face.
December 2018, I was doing alot of vision board seminars...helping people get geared up for the new year.
Setting new goals, getting myself and others excited about the NEXT year to unfold and begin with a bang!
I even had the boys making their own vision boards to display.
Fast forward one whole year to now....
No vision boards have been made....
No new goals have been set....
And I am definitely NOT set up and organized to start this year off with a bang.
Quite the opposite from last year.
So the last 4 days have been a really emotional and deep moment in time for me.
Sometimes I wonder....
“My profession is a Life Coach.
Is it expected of me to have all my crap together?
Am I suppose to know ALL THE THINGS to be relevant?
What’s my purpose beyond this?”
And then when you add in all the contemplation with the feelings of being behind on all the new year plannings and top it all off with just in general exhaustion....
....the mountain EXPLODES. The processing really starts....
...and you find yourself in a place uncertain.
If you’re like me, when this happens Life skills go out the window and I’m good to make some basic food, maybe vacuum a bit but my body is moving at a snails pace.
But as my family has given me some time, I have been in conversation through writing with others and have been journaling, LIFE has taken on new meaning.
While I know all the answers.....I still need to process through the questions.
Just a few of my answers:
I DON’T HAVE TO HAVE MY CRAP TOGETHER....and neither do you.
One thing I often tell my clients is that one thing will continue to be true in finding a good coach..... you need someone who hasn’t ‘MADE IT’. You need someone processing through life continuously just like you.
Life is a journey...one that is a cyclical pattern. NOT a straight line. We don’t move forward without moments of cycling back around specific areas when we need to.
Sometimes you cycle back to the same thing 5 times....but every time you leave with a new perspective.
This will be a FOREVER practice for me.
Why do we give others grace to not have everything together but expect perfection within ourselves?
We shouldn’t. Perfection is relative. And an ongoing hallucination.
If you feel the need to be perfect...maybe it’s time to take a gander inside and see what’s making you NOT FEEL ENOUGH in your soul.
I DON’T HAVE TO KNOW ALL THE THINGS TO BE RELEVANT.
I’m a firm believer that we learn what we need to when we need to know it.
And that we KNOW what we want inside.
Sometimes it takes a person or a coach to just be a listening ear to give you insight into what you really want.
We don’t have to be scientists, or geniuses to do GREAT things.
We just need to be US. Unapologetically ourselves.
There is no one who can do what we can and no one who can deliver the message the way we are meant to.
It doesn’t require all the knowledge or experience. It requires authenticity and a genuine heart.
All the other things fall into place.
WHAT IS MY PURPOSE BEYOND ALL OF THIS?
Often I need to regroup.
I have big goals. Big dreams. Sometimes I want to put the cart before the horse and just have it all right now.
But there’s an art to patience.
And a beauty in believing that where we are right now is the right stepping stone we need to be on.
Some of the stuff I have been processing as of late IS JUST THIS....
WHAT IS MY PURPOSE?
Kinda grueling huh?
And some of you might be thinking...”how DOESN’T the life coach know her purpose?”
To that I say,
When do we ever get to the final destination of our forever purpose?
Right now, my purpose is a few things....but In a few years my purpose will change slightly.
Why?
Because I won’t be the same woman then.
My children will be older. My business will have grown. My husbands business will have grown and our marriage will be better than is it today. Among the many things that change daily for us.
How can I expect my purpose to be the same?
The one thing you will always find here is INSPIRATION to KEEP finding your purpose everyday.
If you expect to stay the same every day, week, month or year then I am here to tell you this....you are dying.
And it’s only a matter of time before you become either UNHAPPY, UNFULFILLED, or IN NEED OF CHANGE.
The best part about this is that there is no wrong path if you truly seek to find yourself.
You have the knowledge inside of where you want to go and what you want your purpose to be.
Sometimes it just takes a few moments alone, or some time to talk with someone who’s trustworthy to give you back unbiased advise.
And sometimes it just takes a simple realization to know that what you seek, is what you will find.
.....If you are willing to go at it wholeheartedly.
And what I WILL tell you is this:
To seek wholeheartedly your purpose, you will find, HAPPINESS, CONTENTMENT, SELF LOVE and BELIEF.
Any of those on your to do list to acquire?
And More than anything....
The one thing I want you to know is that this year doesn’t have to look the same as last year.
YOU have changed....therefor...so has YOUR PURPOSE.
Today marks 2 years. Two years of learning what it means to sacrifice fully. To sacrifice with very little or nothing in return. 2 years today marks Harlejs bravery and determination to do what he was trained to do. And the sacrifice of his life is one I will not likely ever forget. I’m hardly a person who likes to dwell too long in suffering… I welcome it….because I know it’s good for me….and connects me to others. But I rarely stay there too long. We need to take from suffering the gift it gives us, but it can be a dangerous place if spent too long dwelling there. So instead of sharing sorrow today… I want to share a few of the very SIMPLE lessons these last few years have given or shown us. Because our hard times only continue to be hard if we don’t see and share the lessons we have learned. Lesson #1 Sacrifice spreads positivity in a way selfishness can never. Look at any hero in history. Their sacrifice always inspired a ripple effect, felt even centuries later. Our world often creates a lot of selfish people. Trying to get ahead, putting themselves before others. So when we have someone willing to step up and be selfless, people are inspired to follow. Action: Even when it’s hard, and uncomfortable…Be selfless. Step up. Lesson #2 You need good men who are willing to do bad things in order for society to work for the weaker man to remain safe. This is a statement that has seemed to have gotten lost in our world today. With the increased rise in “do what makes you happy” and armchair quarterbacking everything that’s controversial it’s caused the world to feel like we get to say anything that will bring the drama….with no consequence. As opposed to looking at the situation for what it is and being reminded that sometimes for the greater good we need to do the more controversial thing. Action: Make a choice to be one of the good men who step up, OR stop judging those who do. Lesson #3 GOOD things come from BAD situations. Any of us who have ever truly looked at life can attest to this sentence. While the loss of Harlej was a really hard and eye opening experience, the blessings that reigned down on us after his death became uncountable. From the people we have met, to the experiences extended to us… The people who come up to Jarred and I on the street to just share how Harlejs sacrifice effected them has probably been my favorite. There isn’t one thing that we have taken for granted because of the ripple effect of his sacrifice for the community. Action: Don’t be afraid of the hard and tough situations in life. You’re likely to be rewarded if you keep your chin up. Lesson #4 No day is guaranteed. As a police wife, I’m not often worried on a daily basis for Jarred and his partner. Mostly because of the awesome community we live in but because I also make the CHOICE every day to put Jarred and Rico’s (and at the time Harlejs) lives’ in Gods hands. While I realize I enjoy controlling as much as I possibly can, there are just some things I WILL NEVER control. THE TIMING OF LIFE. It reminds me to live today present, humble and happy. There are so many things I can’t control in this world… But the things I can, like my attitude and effort, I better use to the best of my abilities. Action: Be present and Be steadfast in the things you can control and give the rest up to God. Lesson #5 Believe in the good. I’m not going to lie. This has been a hard one for me these past few years. With the current political and healthcare climate it’s hard to know what the heck is happening let alone how to feel about it all. “Don’t be too far left, but don’t be too far right,” they say. At the same time as corrupt people and organizations having alot of control over the way the world is running. Anxiety and depression on the rise and people living in fear. “Does anyone have a persons best interest at heart?” Harlejs death reminds me that good wins over evil. That we don’t always know how, or that we don’t always know when but that good wins ALWAYS. Action: Even in fear, believe in the good. I can not end this post without sharing the incredible and most important gift he gave me. Harlej's death was one of the only factors that allowed Jarred and the other guys to come home that night. Without the gunshot, they would have never known he was armed and clearly dangerous. The call was for a drunk driver. What they didn’t know was that the guy was connected to murders in Indianapolis and over 20 shootings in a month and a half. A dangerous and known criminal. I am so grateful of the number of training hours Jarred and his K9 partners put in. For their call to this career and the passion they have for it. Truthfully, that night scared me. Being woken up to horrifying news shook me. While it wasn’t Jarreds life, it was one of our own. And his life, being a k9 represents something bigger than I really understood until that moment. The very thin line between good and evil and those willing to hold that line for the greater good. I am grateful to Harlej who would run in to save Jarred a million times over. May I live everyday being reminded of your lessons Harlej. — Kim
“ I serve well in my brokenness NOT just when I’m perfect and ready.” I had a thought today. As I was in my prayer time....which doesn’t happen when it should..but when I need it. ...this thought.... Do I come today in service to you God to be a gift I can serve the world with as my broken self? Or do I come to you ready to serve when I’ve got all of myself figured out? It’s the thing we all do. Wait. To put our purpose or our gift out there until we are perfect and ready. We wait in fear. Knowing we are NOT perfect and ready. ...And question: will we ever be ready? We worry. Because the world makes us believe that everyone else around us is NOT broken and has it all together. So I thought.... Is our gift to the world only good when we "GET perfect"? Or is what we have to give STILL GOOD even in our brokenness? Do we wait until we have figured out the problems and have solved them and are now the savior of our own lives? As if we were once broken and are now whole? And I felt These words... “You serve well IN your brokenness Kim.....not just when you are perfect and ready. Because you are PERFECTLY READY in your brokenness." So often we feel like we have to have it all together. That we are perfectly managing ourselves to have the answers and to be the best. To.be.Perfect. And even in my own experience.... My own life in the last 5 years has grown to be bigger than I ever imagined.... Not through some sort of “having figured it out”... But by sharing my struggle. My brokenness. It is not in perfection that people are attracted to my work or my gift. But BY my brokenness. My want to share my struggles. In hopes that others can share in it and feel less alone. Gods promise isn’t a life void of struggle... But a life, if we lend our hearts to a beautiful blend of gratitude and struggle, of TRUE happiness. And in that.... is something that I can lean on. Because none of us are less broken than the other. We are all capable of greatness THROUGH our brokenness.
Photo taken by: Gloria Neidermann January 30th, 2019 As long as I can remember I was a go getter. I didn’t just sit by while others hustled around me. Even as a kid. I was always moving. Always Active. Those who couldn’t keep up usually went to take a nap in the afternoon while I continued on. I thought slowing down was for the “weaker” minded. It’s often portrayed that those with “success” worked so hard at the one thing they wanted to be successful at that everything else goes to the wayside.... Or at least for a while. So what happens to the person who has big goals but doesn’t want to give up on everything else they have going on in their life? As life continues to evolve for me, I’m gaining such perspective on SIMPLICITY. And if I’m being honest the ideas of success and big goals and a life of simplicity do not automatically go hand in hand. If anything they seem like opposites. I’ve had a few come to Jesus moments lately. A few philosophical conversations with friends. And some really deep and tough chit chats with Jarred about this said topic. How can someone find big goal success and simplicity in life at the same time? The answers. Through DISCIPLINE and CONSISTENCY. If you’re struggling right now keeping up your New Years resolutions... or the promises you have made to yourself time and time again... Remember this. Discipline and consistency are not something you EARN by just doing it. They’re something that even when you get to your goals...you STILL have to work hard at discipline and consistency EVERY SINGLE DAY.
November 21, 2018 This pictures depicts such a high point in my life. The girls and I up on stage together, top 5. But what you don’t see is that this was the deepest, darkest time of my life. I was completely depressed. Dealing with post partum depression still, even though our youngest son was a year and a half old. My marriage was not only suffering but was falling to pieces. I wanted very little to do with being a mom and my life choices were completely selfish and destructive. The even scarier part was I wasn’t even aware of the suffering I was going through. So I suffered alone. Pushing everything I couldn’t handle anymore away. Even though this looks like a HIGH point....it was really my LOWEST. What a person never understands is the battle going on in someone’s life. The suffering or the hardships they face regardless of their own volition or not. Its a good reminder to know we all suffer at some degree in life. That having suffered makes us more VALUABLE, more CAPABLE and more CONNECTED to each other. If it wasn’t, Jesus would never have SUFFERED to SAVE us. I have been there. I have walked the dark night. And through the suffering I gained so many things I could never have possessed without the hardship. It’s one of the main reasons I got into coaching. To help people understand that suffering and hard times doesn’t mean a hard life. But that life is just taking a whole new turn for the best.
September 29th, 2019 Tonight I physically had to STOP myself mid vacuuming. As I’ve stated before I’m a task freak. Give me a list and I’ll get it done.... (except that NEVER dwindling home one 🙄) I need reminders to just BE with my children. While I LOvE them beyond measure and love spending time with them.... Unless someone’s bleeding, there are sirens or they are talking at me directly... the tasks that fall top of mind are my own personal ones.... While my husband Jarred does ALOT for our family.....I’m usually the keeper of all the keys as the mom and wife right?! Can you slightly relate? So I left the vacuum sitting there. Literally in the middle of the floor and I said ‘come on boys! Let’s get ready for bed and then we can read books.’ And then we just hung out till they had to go to bed.... we laughed. We talked about the day. We talked about what was bothering us. Yes, do I want a clean house? Yes, do I want the things I need to do to get done? Sure do... But the boys won’t ever remember if the house was vacuumed everyday. They’re going to remember the nights they stayed up a little longer than normal to read books with their mom. Or the time she chose ME over work for 15 minutes. OR the conversation we had about liiiittteeerrraallly NOTHING. So I encourage u today. Put down the book or the spatula, or the work, or the actual vacuum and be reminded that your kids look up to you. They CHERISH YOU. And they want YOU. Not the TV. Or the IPAD. They want YOU.
