How being wounded deeply can get you rewarded greatly
Kimberly Koopman • January 20, 2020
You know that moment in a movie where the hero of the story has journeyed to fight and been defeated?
Where they get up again and try and nothing seems to work?
And then....when what seems as though all hope is lost....they find a sliver of hope and defeat the bad guy?
That’s REAL LIFE.
A lesson we can use today in our lives.
Maybe not the superpowers, or the kings and queens being conquered but the moral of the story.
I heard today, that the greatest hero’s that have come before us, and are still to come have been WOUNDED DEEPLY and REWARDED GREATLY.
And any person who’s struggled though some HARD stuff in their life to once again find themselves in a better place WILL AGREE with me on this one.
Trust me though when I say, I am not perfect in finding peace with the struggle all the time.
I think I’ve just struggled and been my analytical self along the way long enough to notice the similarities inside the CORRELATION between STRUGGLE and SUCCESS.
And I have to say....they go hand in hand.
You can’t take one with out the other.
Which, when we’re watching a movie or looking into someone else’s life seems like “well duh!”....
But when it comes to OURSELVES we expect to do it perfect the first time, never to struggle and to just know what the heck we’re doing....all without a little practice and learning.
BUT truly.....I think deep down we don’t believe it.
We ourselves, DON’T believe that we should know how to do everything.
It’s EXPECTATION.
It’s what we think OTHERS expect of us.
It’s that we believe that others think we should know how to do it.
Or that we don’t want to look like we don’t have things all together.
Or that for some reason, we’re just so amazing to know how or what to do without trying or practice.
That’s NOT real life.
Like my grandma used to say.....well Let me tell you.
Life doesn’t work that way.
I don’t think God designed for us to just know it all without struggle or practice or trying. (In heaven...yes. On earth...heck no)
So I’ve come up with 5 simple ways to embrace struggle as part of your success story.
1. Stop allowing others to expect things for YOUR life.
Would you ever expect someone to do all the things YOU say THEY should do?
Why would you expect the same from others for your life?
You are the keeper of your key.
Only you alone can expect things of yourself for them to come true.
Allowing others opinions or expectations to dictate how you live your life is only going to have you living in regret. With a capital R.
Not happiness and definitely not success.
...
2. Struggle does not equal brokenness
When we can get to the place in our lives where we can see struggle as a necessity and not something we just wish we could skip over....
....we’ve truly won.
We are so afraid of looking broken that we push away anything that vaguely looks like it.
Struggle, pain, emotions, etc.
Struggle does NOT equal brokenness.
Struggle equals strength.
...
3. Heroism requires you to pull up your adult pants.
I mean, this ones pretty self explanatory.
No great victor ever had mommy or daddy dragging behind them.
They usually were the ones that saw what was ahead.....
....the great valley of terror, the dragon atop the tall tower, the soldier on the opposing side.... forging ahead.
No one else can fight your battles for you.
If they do...it’s not called winning...it’s called being enabled.
...
4. Expect less of others.
Have you ever noticed that the things you judge people for are the same things you worry others are judging YOU for?
Same thing....give people grace. Allow others to learn as they go and don’t expect them to be in the same place you think they should be.
I guarantee when you shift your mindset about others.....you will shift your mindset of yourself and what others expect of you.
Mostly because you will care a lot less of what others think.
Win win.
...
5. Positive patty got the worm.
All of the most genuinely positive people I know...are some of the most successful people I know.
The law of attraction states:
“That which you focus on is what you will attract.”
Finding yourself on the struggle bus and the driver won’t stop?
Well....he only stops for patty. Positive patty that is.
It’s no coincidence that the most fulfilled individuals in life are the ones who choose positivity in their lives rather than negativity.
...
Do I struggle with the fact that I struggle at things?
Yes. I sure do.
And every day I am working on leaving my care of what the world expects of me to embrace struggle as the necessary part of the plan of success. And when I do that. Some how....it puts me at ease.
If today, you find yourself at the brink of defeat, FORGE AHEAD my friend!
.....you’re most likely about to uncover a success in your near future.
Photo by Gloria Neidermann

Today marks 2 years. Two years of learning what it means to sacrifice fully. To sacrifice with very little or nothing in return. 2 years today marks Harlejs bravery and determination to do what he was trained to do. And the sacrifice of his life is one I will not likely ever forget. I’m hardly a person who likes to dwell too long in suffering… I welcome it….because I know it’s good for me….and connects me to others. But I rarely stay there too long. We need to take from suffering the gift it gives us, but it can be a dangerous place if spent too long dwelling there. So instead of sharing sorrow today… I want to share a few of the very SIMPLE lessons these last few years have given or shown us. Because our hard times only continue to be hard if we don’t see and share the lessons we have learned. Lesson #1 Sacrifice spreads positivity in a way selfishness can never. Look at any hero in history. Their sacrifice always inspired a ripple effect, felt even centuries later. Our world often creates a lot of selfish people. Trying to get ahead, putting themselves before others. So when we have someone willing to step up and be selfless, people are inspired to follow. Action: Even when it’s hard, and uncomfortable…Be selfless. Step up. Lesson #2 You need good men who are willing to do bad things in order for society to work for the weaker man to remain safe. This is a statement that has seemed to have gotten lost in our world today. With the increased rise in “do what makes you happy” and armchair quarterbacking everything that’s controversial it’s caused the world to feel like we get to say anything that will bring the drama….with no consequence. As opposed to looking at the situation for what it is and being reminded that sometimes for the greater good we need to do the more controversial thing. Action: Make a choice to be one of the good men who step up, OR stop judging those who do. Lesson #3 GOOD things come from BAD situations. Any of us who have ever truly looked at life can attest to this sentence. While the loss of Harlej was a really hard and eye opening experience, the blessings that reigned down on us after his death became uncountable. From the people we have met, to the experiences extended to us… The people who come up to Jarred and I on the street to just share how Harlejs sacrifice effected them has probably been my favorite. There isn’t one thing that we have taken for granted because of the ripple effect of his sacrifice for the community. Action: Don’t be afraid of the hard and tough situations in life. You’re likely to be rewarded if you keep your chin up. Lesson #4 No day is guaranteed. As a police wife, I’m not often worried on a daily basis for Jarred and his partner. Mostly because of the awesome community we live in but because I also make the CHOICE every day to put Jarred and Rico’s (and at the time Harlejs) lives’ in Gods hands. While I realize I enjoy controlling as much as I possibly can, there are just some things I WILL NEVER control. THE TIMING OF LIFE. It reminds me to live today present, humble and happy. There are so many things I can’t control in this world… But the things I can, like my attitude and effort, I better use to the best of my abilities. Action: Be present and Be steadfast in the things you can control and give the rest up to God. Lesson #5 Believe in the good. I’m not going to lie. This has been a hard one for me these past few years. With the current political and healthcare climate it’s hard to know what the heck is happening let alone how to feel about it all. “Don’t be too far left, but don’t be too far right,” they say. At the same time as corrupt people and organizations having alot of control over the way the world is running. Anxiety and depression on the rise and people living in fear. “Does anyone have a persons best interest at heart?” Harlejs death reminds me that good wins over evil. That we don’t always know how, or that we don’t always know when but that good wins ALWAYS. Action: Even in fear, believe in the good. I can not end this post without sharing the incredible and most important gift he gave me. Harlej's death was one of the only factors that allowed Jarred and the other guys to come home that night. Without the gunshot, they would have never known he was armed and clearly dangerous. The call was for a drunk driver. What they didn’t know was that the guy was connected to murders in Indianapolis and over 20 shootings in a month and a half. A dangerous and known criminal. I am so grateful of the number of training hours Jarred and his K9 partners put in. For their call to this career and the passion they have for it. Truthfully, that night scared me. Being woken up to horrifying news shook me. While it wasn’t Jarreds life, it was one of our own. And his life, being a k9 represents something bigger than I really understood until that moment. The very thin line between good and evil and those willing to hold that line for the greater good. I am grateful to Harlej who would run in to save Jarred a million times over. May I live everyday being reminded of your lessons Harlej. — Kim

“ I serve well in my brokenness NOT just when I’m perfect and ready.” I had a thought today. As I was in my prayer time....which doesn’t happen when it should..but when I need it. ...this thought.... Do I come today in service to you God to be a gift I can serve the world with as my broken self? Or do I come to you ready to serve when I’ve got all of myself figured out? It’s the thing we all do. Wait. To put our purpose or our gift out there until we are perfect and ready. We wait in fear. Knowing we are NOT perfect and ready. ...And question: will we ever be ready? We worry. Because the world makes us believe that everyone else around us is NOT broken and has it all together. So I thought.... Is our gift to the world only good when we "GET perfect"? Or is what we have to give STILL GOOD even in our brokenness? Do we wait until we have figured out the problems and have solved them and are now the savior of our own lives? As if we were once broken and are now whole? And I felt These words... “You serve well IN your brokenness Kim.....not just when you are perfect and ready. Because you are PERFECTLY READY in your brokenness." So often we feel like we have to have it all together. That we are perfectly managing ourselves to have the answers and to be the best. To.be.Perfect. And even in my own experience.... My own life in the last 5 years has grown to be bigger than I ever imagined.... Not through some sort of “having figured it out”... But by sharing my struggle. My brokenness. It is not in perfection that people are attracted to my work or my gift. But BY my brokenness. My want to share my struggles. In hopes that others can share in it and feel less alone. Gods promise isn’t a life void of struggle... But a life, if we lend our hearts to a beautiful blend of gratitude and struggle, of TRUE happiness. And in that.... is something that I can lean on. Because none of us are less broken than the other. We are all capable of greatness THROUGH our brokenness.

Photo taken by: Gloria Neidermann January 30th, 2019 As long as I can remember I was a go getter. I didn’t just sit by while others hustled around me. Even as a kid. I was always moving. Always Active. Those who couldn’t keep up usually went to take a nap in the afternoon while I continued on. I thought slowing down was for the “weaker” minded. It’s often portrayed that those with “success” worked so hard at the one thing they wanted to be successful at that everything else goes to the wayside.... Or at least for a while. So what happens to the person who has big goals but doesn’t want to give up on everything else they have going on in their life? As life continues to evolve for me, I’m gaining such perspective on SIMPLICITY. And if I’m being honest the ideas of success and big goals and a life of simplicity do not automatically go hand in hand. If anything they seem like opposites. I’ve had a few come to Jesus moments lately. A few philosophical conversations with friends. And some really deep and tough chit chats with Jarred about this said topic. How can someone find big goal success and simplicity in life at the same time? The answers. Through DISCIPLINE and CONSISTENCY. If you’re struggling right now keeping up your New Years resolutions... or the promises you have made to yourself time and time again... Remember this. Discipline and consistency are not something you EARN by just doing it. They’re something that even when you get to your goals...you STILL have to work hard at discipline and consistency EVERY SINGLE DAY.

November 21, 2018 This pictures depicts such a high point in my life. The girls and I up on stage together, top 5. But what you don’t see is that this was the deepest, darkest time of my life. I was completely depressed. Dealing with post partum depression still, even though our youngest son was a year and a half old. My marriage was not only suffering but was falling to pieces. I wanted very little to do with being a mom and my life choices were completely selfish and destructive. The even scarier part was I wasn’t even aware of the suffering I was going through. So I suffered alone. Pushing everything I couldn’t handle anymore away. Even though this looks like a HIGH point....it was really my LOWEST. What a person never understands is the battle going on in someone’s life. The suffering or the hardships they face regardless of their own volition or not. Its a good reminder to know we all suffer at some degree in life. That having suffered makes us more VALUABLE, more CAPABLE and more CONNECTED to each other. If it wasn’t, Jesus would never have SUFFERED to SAVE us. I have been there. I have walked the dark night. And through the suffering I gained so many things I could never have possessed without the hardship. It’s one of the main reasons I got into coaching. To help people understand that suffering and hard times doesn’t mean a hard life. But that life is just taking a whole new turn for the best.

September 29th, 2019 Tonight I physically had to STOP myself mid vacuuming. As I’ve stated before I’m a task freak. Give me a list and I’ll get it done.... (except that NEVER dwindling home one 🙄) I need reminders to just BE with my children. While I LOvE them beyond measure and love spending time with them.... Unless someone’s bleeding, there are sirens or they are talking at me directly... the tasks that fall top of mind are my own personal ones.... While my husband Jarred does ALOT for our family.....I’m usually the keeper of all the keys as the mom and wife right?! Can you slightly relate? So I left the vacuum sitting there. Literally in the middle of the floor and I said ‘come on boys! Let’s get ready for bed and then we can read books.’ And then we just hung out till they had to go to bed.... we laughed. We talked about the day. We talked about what was bothering us. Yes, do I want a clean house? Yes, do I want the things I need to do to get done? Sure do... But the boys won’t ever remember if the house was vacuumed everyday. They’re going to remember the nights they stayed up a little longer than normal to read books with their mom. Or the time she chose ME over work for 15 minutes. OR the conversation we had about liiiittteeerrraallly NOTHING. So I encourage u today. Put down the book or the spatula, or the work, or the actual vacuum and be reminded that your kids look up to you. They CHERISH YOU. And they want YOU. Not the TV. Or the IPAD. They want YOU.