life on purpose

Today marks 2 years. Two years of learning what it means to sacrifice fully. To sacrifice with very little or nothing in return. 2 years today marks Harlejs bravery and determination to do what he was trained to do. And the sacrifice of his life is one I will not likely ever forget. I’m hardly a person who likes to dwell too long in suffering… I welcome it….because I know it’s good for me….and connects me to others. But I rarely stay there too long. We need to take from suffering the gift it gives us, but it can be a dangerous place if spent too long dwelling there. So instead of sharing sorrow today… I want to share a few of the very SIMPLE lessons these last few years have given or shown us. Because our hard times only continue to be hard if we don’t see and share the lessons we have learned. Lesson #1 Sacrifice spreads positivity in a way selfishness can never. Look at any hero in history. Their sacrifice always inspired a ripple effect, felt even centuries later. Our world often creates a lot of selfish people. Trying to get ahead, putting themselves before others. So when we have someone willing to step up and be selfless, people are inspired to follow. Action: Even when it’s hard, and uncomfortable…Be selfless. Step up. Lesson #2 You need good men who are willing to do bad things in order for society to work for the weaker man to remain safe. This is a statement that has seemed to have gotten lost in our world today. With the increased rise in “do what makes you happy” and armchair quarterbacking everything that’s controversial it’s caused the world to feel like we get to say anything that will bring the drama….with no consequence. As opposed to looking at the situation for what it is and being reminded that sometimes for the greater good we need to do the more controversial thing. Action: Make a choice to be one of the good men who step up, OR stop judging those who do. Lesson #3 GOOD things come from BAD situations. Any of us who have ever truly looked at life can attest to this sentence. While the loss of Harlej was a really hard and eye opening experience, the blessings that reigned down on us after his death became uncountable. From the people we have met, to the experiences extended to us… The people who come up to Jarred and I on the street to just share how Harlejs sacrifice effected them has probably been my favorite. There isn’t one thing that we have taken for granted because of the ripple effect of his sacrifice for the community. Action: Don’t be afraid of the hard and tough situations in life. You’re likely to be rewarded if you keep your chin up. Lesson #4 No day is guaranteed. As a police wife, I’m not often worried on a daily basis for Jarred and his partner. Mostly because of the awesome community we live in but because I also make the CHOICE every day to put Jarred and Rico’s (and at the time Harlejs) lives’ in Gods hands. While I realize I enjoy controlling as much as I possibly can, there are just some things I WILL NEVER control. THE TIMING OF LIFE. It reminds me to live today present, humble and happy. There are so many things I can’t control in this world… But the things I can, like my attitude and effort, I better use to the best of my abilities. Action: Be present and Be steadfast in the things you can control and give the rest up to God. Lesson #5 Believe in the good. I’m not going to lie. This has been a hard one for me these past few years. With the current political and healthcare climate it’s hard to know what the heck is happening let alone how to feel about it all. “Don’t be too far left, but don’t be too far right,” they say. At the same time as corrupt people and organizations having alot of control over the way the world is running. Anxiety and depression on the rise and people living in fear. “Does anyone have a persons best interest at heart?” Harlejs death reminds me that good wins over evil. That we don’t always know how, or that we don’t always know when but that good wins ALWAYS. Action: Even in fear, believe in the good. I can not end this post without sharing the incredible and most important gift he gave me. Harlej's death was one of the only factors that allowed Jarred and the other guys to come home that night. Without the gunshot, they would have never known he was armed and clearly dangerous. The call was for a drunk driver. What they didn’t know was that the guy was connected to murders in Indianapolis and over 20 shootings in a month and a half. A dangerous and known criminal. I am so grateful of the number of training hours Jarred and his K9 partners put in. For their call to this career and the passion they have for it. Truthfully, that night scared me. Being woken up to horrifying news shook me. While it wasn’t Jarreds life, it was one of our own. And his life, being a k9 represents something bigger than I really understood until that moment. The very thin line between good and evil and those willing to hold that line for the greater good. I am grateful to Harlej who would run in to save Jarred a million times over. May I live everyday being reminded of your lessons Harlej. — Kim

“ I serve well in my brokenness NOT just when I’m perfect and ready.” I had a thought today. As I was in my prayer time....which doesn’t happen when it should..but when I need it. ...this thought.... Do I come today in service to you God to be a gift I can serve the world with as my broken self? Or do I come to you ready to serve when I’ve got all of myself figured out? It’s the thing we all do. Wait. To put our purpose or our gift out there until we are perfect and ready. We wait in fear. Knowing we are NOT perfect and ready. ...And question: will we ever be ready? We worry. Because the world makes us believe that everyone else around us is NOT broken and has it all together. So I thought.... Is our gift to the world only good when we "GET perfect"? Or is what we have to give STILL GOOD even in our brokenness? Do we wait until we have figured out the problems and have solved them and are now the savior of our own lives? As if we were once broken and are now whole? And I felt These words... “You serve well IN your brokenness Kim.....not just when you are perfect and ready. Because you are PERFECTLY READY in your brokenness." So often we feel like we have to have it all together. That we are perfectly managing ourselves to have the answers and to be the best. To.be.Perfect. And even in my own experience.... My own life in the last 5 years has grown to be bigger than I ever imagined.... Not through some sort of “having figured it out”... But by sharing my struggle. My brokenness. It is not in perfection that people are attracted to my work or my gift. But BY my brokenness. My want to share my struggles. In hopes that others can share in it and feel less alone. Gods promise isn’t a life void of struggle... But a life, if we lend our hearts to a beautiful blend of gratitude and struggle, of TRUE happiness. And in that.... is something that I can lean on. Because none of us are less broken than the other. We are all capable of greatness THROUGH our brokenness.